Shooting Fish

Rex is rude to Sara, and calls her a child. He laughs, but she doesn’t, and neither do I. I used to like Rex, ish. Now I just think he’s an imbecile. I’m still surprised at how many people I speak to, both in person and in cyberspace, are supportive of Rex. However, if he’d been up for eviction this week, I think he would have gone. They have a fish in the house! A live one! When did that happen? This is one of the most interesting things that has happened in BB this year, and I missed it. Humph. Sara wants an apology for Rex’s comments. I would too, but as a watcher, I’d prefer some footage of the fish instead. Nicole tells Rex not be rude, but that’s like telling me not to eat Twirls. God, I love Twirls, and I am about to eat another one. I am so excited!

Mo is being odd in the diary room again. Mo is a very strange boy. At first, and especially after the picture fight night, I thought he was OK – maybe quite sensible. He can occasionallybe quite fun, too – cross-dressing birthday parties, anyone? – but in all honesty he is a very pointless housemate. Which worries me slightly, because pointless housemates often survive till the final – especially when they have already ’survived’ evictions so the other housemates wrongly assume they are loved on the outside (Rex, take note).

That was weird. I just addressed a housemate, when there’s no chance of him ever reading this, and even if he did, it’d be too late.

Rachel has some new fishfood and some instructions to look after the fish, which are called Heaven and Hell, I believe. All the girls want hair straighteners on the token, and not the hairdryer. This is odd. You can’t use straightners on wet hair… This makes no senseto me. Lisa is an expert on looking after goldfish, apparently, and advises Rachel even after BB has told her what to do. She also talks to the fish in a little high chatty voice. Aha! Darnell says exactly what I just said – that because Mo has survived evictions, he has a big head. “Get off my d8ck,” says Mo, which makes me laugh. Perhaps Darnell is talking with his d8ck hanging out?

The BB games are about to start to finish the shopping task. Rodney off of Only Fools and Horsestells Mikey to stay in the diary room as the housemates outside prepare for the task. However, Mikey is the only housemate responsible for the task, as he must accurately predict the winners. This, I guess, is more fun for him than actually watching the housemates compete would be, as he is BLIND. Oh my goodness. Rachel spins round while balancing an egg, and I’m not being funny, but her shiny red shell suit trousers are hideously unflattering, and her comments (“I’m so dizzy… Now I know what it feels like to be really, really drunk… No wonder you’re not allowed to drive”) make me feel as sick as her trousers. Rachel wins over Rex in the race, though we don’t see him compete. Now it’s the short jump. Mikey thinks Sara will win. Sara gives Darnell three kisses for luck, and, given that it’s Darnell she’s kissing, the inevitable happens. UGH. Rex and Kat then compete is the pool. They have to be floaters. Hahaha. Rex is shivering and looks ill. Kat flails a little and is not allowed to carry on. So I guess Rex wins by default. Lisa and Mo then throw feathers for their event. That lycra isn’t doing Mo any favours, either. Mo wins, which Mikey did not predict. Lastly, Lisa, Rachel and Stu compete in the slow race. Stu has already worked out that the games aren’t the task per se, and Mikey is in control of the task’s outcome. Oh dear. The slow race is weird – a bit like musical statues – and made creepy because they are all wearing unitards. Lisa loses, which Mikey again failed to predict. Stu wins, instead. Stu’s back (peering out from his unitard) is quite effeminate. That’s why he likes people to think he’s gay…

And now the reveal. Mikey comes out of the diary room and BB explains that Mikey had to predcitthe winners. Mikey got three predictions right, and so they will have a luxury budget next week. Less for them to moan about then, I guess. Later, Rachel is crying because the goldfish died. “The goldfish, Heaven…” she sobs, “He did die.” She leaves him in a glass in the diary room. She also has to bring the other fish back, probably because Rex is weeing into the bowl when everyone else is asleep. Nicole laughs when Stu brings in the news, and mentions that Rachel is crying. “She’s crying!” she shrieks. Well, I knew it wasn’t going to end well. I didn’t know about the fish at all, and now one is dead and the other one is “going away”. (Going away my foot, by the way.) This is typical of my life. ANYWAY, this blog is not about me. So.

Nicole and Rex have a bath, and OMG he is exfoliating her with a glove. THIS HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE, EVILS! Mo is being weird again about groups in the house. Darnell disagrees with most things he says. But Mo has a point: there is no particular reason why Rachel is up for eviction. Later, Darnell claims to know nothing about Sara. Oh, we’ve all had this particular chat-up skit, Darnell: just drop it.

In the bedroom, Kat asks why Mo wants to make people angry. “It’s ’cause I want to go,” he says. UGH, come on. If you want to go, then do so, please. Don’t do a Stu, because as soon as you’re up, the pubic will get you out, you’ll be booed, and the rest of your life ruined. Seriously, why go on BB in the first place? “I am kinda breaking down,” says Mo. I eat my Twirl and ponder. Is he really? Mo has been, despite my liking him sporadically, and all, fairly consistent all the way through BB, in that he has made no significant impact. Yes, he was spat on, yes, he was the centre of one of Alex’s rows, but… I don’t know. Darnell, Mo and Mikey don’t think Sara is “girlfriend material”. Yes, and I’m sure she’s sobbing the bedroom because of it. Huh. Do you know what I can’t believe? That there’s still just over three weeks of this to go.