REX written in big clumsy letters.

The housemates are given some enormous blank playing cards and some pens and are told to write the names of the two people up for nomination this week on them. “NO WAY!” yells Kat. “NO WAY!” Over and over again. Way, Kat. When they are all written, Big Brother makes them stand up and read them aloud one by one. Darnell is first, nomming Sara and Lisa. This is actually quite tense. Kat then stands up and noms Lisa and Sara. Hang on. What? What’s going on? Lisa goes for Rex and Rachel, and then says, “Some wedding this is.”  I think she’s confused as to what a wedding actually is. Mikey then noms Rex and Sara – Sara is nearly a cert, surely? Mo Mohammed writes Sara and Mikey (That’s it, Sara’s a definite), and then Rachel noms Lisa and Rex. That means Rex and Lisa have three each, and it’s Rex’s turn to nom, and he says Sara and Lisa, which means he’s safe unless Sara noms him, which she fails to do, going for Rachel and Darnell instead. “Everyone got a nomination except Kat,” says Darnell. So, Lisa and Sara are up for eviction… and £50Grand. But there’s more! Housemates are now free to discuss nominations, apparently! Is that a new rule? It’s a rule I like. 

Oh, and bee tee double-eww, Sara’s going home, right? 

Anyway, after the break, Davina wears a bin liner and has terrible hair, which must be difficult given that hair product contract she has, right? Anyway, Sara and Lisa are called to the Task Room and think that they are going home. (I hope Sara doesn’t win the money. I know Lisa’s a reality-show whore, but I like her far more. Plus, Mario would be chuffed.) Oh wow! They are playing The Prisoner’s Dilemma. They each have a block with TAKE written on it and a block with SHARE written on it. They have to pick a block. If they both SHARE they share the cash, if one SHAREs and the other TAKEs the TAKEr gets it, and if they both TAKE they get nothing. They’ll share: they are friends, and it makes sense. They’ll share. No question. They’ll share. I’m a hundred percent positive of it. (This would have been very different if Rex was involved, eh? Or Mikey. I’m betting TAKE isn’t written in Braille.)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…

(God, Big Brother runs through the rules a silly amount of times. Get on with it! It gives them the chance to discuss it, which is retarded, and lets them lie or tell the truth. Pointless: they are good friends, they’ll tell the truth, they’ll share. No question. They tell this to each other, and there’s no question. “I’ve got a heart of gold,” says Lisa. They’ll share. I am sick of writing that, and there’s no tension due to the people involved. Shame for Big Brother. Rex/Darnell would have been the best here. Or Rex/Rachel, as he would have stolen that gold from under her nose. Or Rex/Mo Mohammmed. That would have been superb.)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…

They both choose SHARE. What a shock. I am shocked. Wow. WHAT AN UPHEAVAL OF WHAT I HAD PREVIOUSLY CONSIDERED TO BE FACT AND TRUTH. I’ll bet that live audience are glad they came down to watch that, right?