I Find Her Store It Seem Like My Store.

Right, let’s get this out of the way first: Freddie Halfwit gets LOADS of cheers by the crowd when Davina calls his name, and Angel gets LOADS of boos. I don’t know how this happened, but the incredibly posh, boastful, arrogant and conceited twat has gained followers. (Political joke: Maybe there’s hope for David Cameron in the next election.) So, unless the crowd isn’t a barometer, Angel is off later tonight.

Anyway, the recap:

The housemates are all annoyed that Freddie is annoyed that he’s nominated. Sophie – a dreadful judge of character, as she thinks that Kris is a “really nice” guy – hates Freddie. So does Lisa. In fairness, Freddie did say he thought that he was nominated because he’s too clever, although I’d wager that there’s actually a fraction of truth in it. Anyway, Freddie spins some bullshit about wolves and followers and whatnot, and then claims – cockishly – that he thinks he’ll be in the house for at least another week. That’s irritating: he doesn’t know, Angel might have a LEGION of followers in the outside world.

Speaking of Angel, she gets some water thrown on her by Charlie when she’s making her outfit, and acts like it’s a second holocaust. Then she goes and dyes Sree’s hair black again, which is irritating, as she’s removing a potential source of comedy (as Sree panics that he might be turned into a gay by having ginger hair).

Look, I’ll be honest: I’m finding this hard to even write about. Lisa and Freddie are both being twats about their own egos, and defending or not defending Angel or something. Lisa is just as much of twunt as anyone else on this show, but she’s got a little following, which might be making me hate her even more. I’ve gone on a scale, where I originally hated Freddie most, then Sree, and now Lisa is drizzling her way down my filthy pole of hate to the base, where my spite clusters itself in grubby clumps.

And then, cut to later on, and I feel like I’ve missed something, as all the housemates are dressed in bin bags with filthy 80s hair (apart from Lisa, who is her usual “punk” self, and Angel, who has become Edward Scissorhands). Karly then sings I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing, and Sree does an interpretative dance to it. You couldn’t make this shit up. Then Freddie talks about who the sheep are, and that Kris is a wolf, and that he wants to find the “key to unlock (Kris’) soft side.” (Also, Kris looks like Dale from last year RAPE EYES RAPE EYES.)

An argument about washing up blah blah blah and Noirin is making the most of her boobs with chicken fillets. Also, who argues with Rodrigo? That’s like punching a kitten, surely? Fuck’s sake. Noirin is pissing me off as well. Her and Lisa can just go and do one. I hate them all, I think. Message to Big Brother: I don’t know what you’re doing wrong this year, but sort it out, because I hate all of these people and this show is becoming dull as all living fuck. Fix it please.

Anyway, who IS leaving the house? Let’s see if my prediction is correct, eh? It’s… Angel, and she’s drawn some creepy moustaches on her face in pen and is dressed a bit like Jack White. Anyway, goodbye you mental, and have fun.