I Worried About Social Standing And Prestige.

Nom nom nom nom. Charlie’s first up, and he nominated Freddie Halfwit, because he’s too dense to move away and nominate somebody else, and Siavash, because he screams. Also, apparently, he’s a certain way with the ladies. Sree, not yet nominating, is working his way around the house, talking to women, and being a bit weird. Everybody hates him now, it seems. Marcus then stares at Noirin’s back, where she had a tattoo on the small. “I like your tattoo,” he says, and she asks him if they’re called a tramp-stamp. “Yes,” he says, but then tells her that, because she has Chinese letters, it’s not a tramp-stamp. Karly’s, which is “generic tribal,” however, is.

Halfwit nominates Sree for leaving, and seems really angry. He also nominates Lisa, because she’s a game-player and, he thinks, not a very nice person. I actually agree with him. I’m at this point where I think that Halfwit is a pillock, but a harmless pillock, and he’s actually very observant when he wants to be. (Of course, he’s also desperate for attention, but that’s life.) Sree then tells Karly that if he goes into noms and says the wrong names, it “comes to karma, know what I mean?” “No,” says Karly. It doesn’t come to Karma, and it fucks me off that he think it could. Sree, if you’re nominated – which you will be – it’s because you’re a creepy little stalker. And then, triumph of triumphs, Noirin noms Sree! “Easy or hard?” he asks when she leaves the diary room. “Hard, really hard,” she says. Sree goes into the bedroom and talks to himself. “For me also darling, it’s really hard, but we need to do this,” he says. W. T. F?

Now, a transcription of a conversation between Kris and Sophie Dogface:

Sophie: It reminds me of those things off Doctor Who – Congestors, Congettals, Philippines, Jetters, Jettis.

Kris: Jedi.

Sophie: Jedis.

Kris: How do you say Philippines and Jedis, and get them muddled up?

Sophie: I was getting there, the P. Philippines, Jettines.

Kris: Philippines is with an F.

Sophie: Is it?

Kris: Yeah.

Sophie: Oh.

Big Bother: Great, fuck off and marry each other, and breed a little army of big titted idiots.

Anyway, back to normal service. Noirin moans about people doing things for her, because Marcus wants to do things for her. “You do realise how beautiful you are, don’t you?” he asks, and then asks how many people stop cars to let ugly women cross the road. Noirin then moans some more about being beautiful, and wanting to use her personality more. Must be hard, being pretty, eh? Sree then nominates Marcus (whatever, predictable) and – he apologises! – NOIRIN! Remember how much he loved her a week ago? Wow.

Then, Charlie and Kris go into the diary room, and exchange a token for booze. They then ask for ALL the alcohol that evening, and won’t drink anything for the next few times. Nobody seems angry that they swapped the token without asking permission, at least not to their faces. Then Charlie and Kris jump across the pool, from side to side, not falling in the water, and Noirin tells Sree to do it. She wants him to fall in, but he doesn’t. Anyway, people then quietly moan about the token, and blah blah blah. Sree then makes a bet that he can run an arbitrary distance in a race against Siavash and he doesn’t, so he loses his rights to beer next time around, and then LOSES HIS RAG. He runs to Lisa to proclaim cheating, starts trying to call shenanigans etc. So then it’s double or nothing, and Sree drags the whole house out to watch them run. Sree then claims that double or nothing counts for nothing, and grins and is a bit weird. “I want my four cans,” Siavash says. “You worried about 4 into £1.50 cans, I worried about social standing and prestige. You have nothing, thankyou, goodnight,” Sree then says. (What a cock.)

Anyway, Freddie and Sree are up for eviction, so Friday will SURELY be the last we see of the neediest man in the UK.