I’m a 100% Man

The morning starts with Sophie crying about Tom’s (fairly truthful) words yesterday. Oh dear. Sophie is a sweet nothingness, and watching her cry is like watching a child cry: a bit sad, and also a bit tiresome.

Anyway, BB lifts the mood with a series of silly challenges to win tokens in the diary room, televised to the HMs outside. First, Lisa must look at a series of pictures of amphibians and guess which are toads and which are frogs. Then Marcus has a challenge about percentages, using statements from the HMs. Marcus passes his challenge, but, oddly, he flips the chart over and calls BB a ‘wanker’ and a ‘prick’, and he is made to forfeit the tokens. There’s always one, eh? Hira looks aghast, and Freddie pensive. ‘This is the time where we should be there for Marcus,’ Siavash says to Noirin and Freddie, though I don’t quite know what he means. Then they all sit together, and Rodrigo laughs at him and Bea reprimands him. ‘You played into their hands. The rest of the group has to suffer.’ Freddie sits with his head in his hands. ‘It’s not good for people to be around negativity.’ ‘It’s not negativity – it’s taking a stand,’ Marcus replies. He gets called to the diary room. He goes on about natterjack toads, irrelevantly, and defensively. ‘You’ve been shitty to me this week,’ Marcus tells BB. ‘I’m on your side to do the things you want me to do.’ He seems to argue that the reason he is so bad-tempered is to make good TV. What? No, honestly. That is what he’s arguing. ‘It was a positive gesture… A TV gesture.’

Noirin tells Sophie that she can’t show any affection towards Siavash because of Marcus. What a lie. It’s because of Tom. But Siavash seems happy enough – he is taunting a spider with Rodrigo. Now this is doing things for TV. In the bathroom, Freddie seems distraught at Bea for what she said to Marcus. He says she has made Marcus feel even more insecure. Perhaps. Does it matter? Not really. Marcus is going to be stroppy for the next few days whatever is said to him, I think. Bea leaves for a cigarette. ‘If I were the kind of person who’d leave this show, I’d be out of the fucking door,’ Freddie says to himself as he washes his armpits.

Bea goes to apologise to Marcus anyway. She tells him she knows he’s struggling with ‘the Noirin thing’. ‘It happens in life,’ says Marcus, claiming that’s not the only reason he’s upset. ‘I’m going to go and have a lie down and do some meditating,’ says Bea, but just as she does Charlie and Rod bomb into the pool and soak both her and Marcus. Haha! However, it says a lot about them that they saw Marcus and Bea talking and decided to go bombing anyway. Then they go and cuddle in the lounge, and Bea says the house is full of sexual tension. Good idea to get under a duvet with Marcus, then.

Freddie puts on some kind of Boy George wig hat, and his happy cat face, and goes to have a cigarette  with Bea, seemingly much happier than when he was in the bath. Freddie says he feels that Marcus is a good person, and Bea agrees. ‘I got under the duvet with him, and he was a different person.’ Ew. Then Freddie gets all pervy on her and it’s horrid. They are having a party, with animal masks, balloons and music, but it seem lukewarm at best. The music is Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran, by the way, and nobody knows what it is. ARE THEY ALL THAT YOUNG?! Then Siavash sucks up some helium… Oh no, it’s Noirin’s mouth, having a big wet kiss as Hira looks embarrassed.

As Noirin pointed out yesterday, it’s funny how Marcus is being more open with Lisa now he’s isolated. Lisa admits that she doesn’t like the way people (ie Noirin and Siavash) have become so unfriendly to him. In the garden, Bea tells Siavash that she doesn’t think Noirin is that into him. But he says he really likes her. Oh dear. For the record, I think Bea is right. ‘I just really thought she was into Tom’ she says. ‘A coupe of nights ago, I was advised Noirin really strongly not to get involved with Tom.’ ‘I find that really upsetting,’ says Siavash. Poor, poor Siavash. Simply a pawn in it all. Later, Bea tells him that perhaps Noirin made a ‘quick decision’ to keep the ‘attention on her.’ David, however, is championing Marcus. ‘If that happened to me, it’d break my heart,’ he says.

Of course, as soon as Siavash is alone with Noirin, he asks her how likely it is that things will work out when they leave. ‘I’m here to have fun,’ says Noirin, which is absolutely the wrong answer. ‘Have we made a mistake? I definitely do not want to just have fun.’ This is breaking MY heart, and I’m an ice maiden. Noirin pretends she didn’t fancy Tom, in the end, but it’s all too late. Siavash has enough of an inkling of the worst. ‘We just had our wires crossed,’ she says. How reassuring for Siavash. She really should know when to stop – she then tells him they are ‘just friends. Friends with benefits’. Then Noirin says that Siavash needs to hide himself as he has a hard-on. Just friends then. Yeah.